Tuesday, 19 August 2025

What's it like to have erectile dysfunction?

The experience of erectile dysfunction (ED) is a profoundly isolating and multidimensional crisis that extends far beyond the simple mechanical failure of an erection, weaving a complex tapestry of physiological malfunction, psychological torment, and relational fracture that attacks the very core of masculine identity, leaving in its wake a silent landscape of shame, anticipatory anxiety, and a pervasive sense of emasculation that reverberates through every aspect of a man's life, transforming his relationship with his own body, his partner, and his sense of self. To understand this experience is to first dismantle the simplistic cultural narrative that reduces ED to a mere inconvenience or a joke and to instead recognize it as a full-system breakdown where the biological event—the inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual activity—acts merely as the triggering incident for a devastating psychological cascade. The initial occurrence, often a random event explainable by fatigue, stress, or alcohol, is instantly internalized not as a fluke but as a catastrophic personal failure; the mind, conditioned by a lifetime of cultural messaging that equates virility with worth, immediately constructs a narrative of inadequacy, launching a relentless internal audit of masculinity that questions one's strength, desirability, and fundamental capability as a partner. This single event plants the seed of what experts call **performance anxiety**, which is the true engine of the suffering. The next time intimacy is possible, the man does not approach the moment with anticipation or desire but with a terrifying, hyper-vigilant dread, a fear of a repeat failure that is so potent it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. His mind is no longer a participant in the sensual experience but a detached, critical spectator—a process known as **spectatoring**—monitoring his own body for the slightest sign of arousal with the intense pressure of an air traffic controller guiding a failing plane, a cognitive state that is utterly incompatible with the loss of control and vulnerability required for sexual arousal, which is governed by the parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" state). Performance anxiety, however, activates the sympathetic nervous system (the "fight or flight" response), flooding the body with adrenaline and cortisol, hormones that directly inhibit erection by constricting blood vessels and prioritizing blood flow to essential muscles and away from the penis, thereby guaranteeing the very failure he feared and reinforcing the cycle of anxiety with concrete, physical evidence of his inadequacy.

This cycle initiates a pattern of catastrophic avoidance that begins to strangle the relationship. To avoid the humiliation of another failed attempt, the man embarks on a desperate campaign of evasion: he becomes a master of excuses, feigning sleep, inventing headaches, staying late at work, or picking fights with his partner to create emotional distance and eliminate any possibility of intimacy. He withdraws physically altogether, recoiling from casual touches, hugs, or kisses that might be misconstrued as an invitation for more, starving the relationship of the very affection that is its foundation. This withdrawal is almost universally misinterpreted by the partner, who, unaware of the internal war being waged, internalizes this rejection as a statement on her own desirability, believing she is no longer attractive, that he is having an affair, or that he has simply fallen out of love. Her hurt and confusion often manifest as criticism, withdrawal of her own, or a tense, silent frustration, which the man then absorbs as further proof of his failure and inadequacy, deepening his shame and making the prospect of communication feel utterly impossible. The bedroom, once a place of connection, becomes a courtroom where he stands perpetual trial, and then a battlefield, and finally, a morgue—a silent, cold space where intimacy goes to die. This is how ED is rarely an isolated issue for long; it metastasizes into a **sexless marriage**, a relational dynamic defined by emotional distance, resentment, and a profound communication breakdown where both partners are hurting desperately but are trapped in parallel, isolated silos of pain, each believing they are the problem and each unable to reach the other.

The physical sensation of ED is its own unique hell—a feeling of profound betrayal by one's own body. It is the agonizing disconnect between a conscious mind that *wants* to perform, that feels desire and attraction, and a body that remains unresponsive, a numb, inert weight that refuses to obey the most fundamental command. It is the terrifying silence where there should be sensation, a void that screams of failure. This corporeal betrayal fuels a pervasive sense of emasculation that leaks out of the bedroom and poisons other areas of life. A man may feel less confident at work, less assertive in social situations, and less connected to his own body during activities like exercise or sports, as if the failure of this one function has revealed a fundamental weakness in his entire being. The shame becomes a constant, low-grade hum in the background of his existence, a filter through which he views all interactions, constantly wondering if others can see his deficiency. The option of seeking help is itself fraught with shame, as it requires verbally acknowledging the failure to a doctor, thus making the private humiliation public and confirming his deepest fears. He may delay seeking medical attention for years, suffering in silence, because the potential diagnosis feels like a life sentence, and the solutions—pills like Viagra or Cialis—though effective for many, can feel like a crutch, a public admission that his natural masculinity is broken and requires pharmaceutical augmentation to function, a concept that for some is itself a blow to the ego. For others, even the pills can fail if the psychological component is severe enough, leading to an even deeper level of despair, the feeling of being beyond repair. Ultimately, to have erectile dysfunction is to be engaged in a constant, exhausting war on two fronts: one against a recalcitrant body that refuses to cooperate, and another against a mind that has become a cruel and relentless enemy, narrating a story of failure and inadequacy. It is a lived experience of profound isolation, a silent scream in the dark where the very thing that is needed most—vulnerability, communication, and connection—feels like the ultimate impossibility, locked away behind the impenetrable wall of shame. The path out is not through a magic pill alone, but through a courageous dismantling of this shame, a redefinition of masculinity that separates performance from worth, and the slow, patient rebuilding of intimacy not as a performance, but as a shared language of trust and mutual acceptance.

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

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Thursday, 9 June 2016

Creditvidya Raises 2M Dollar From Kalaari Capital

CreditVidya, a financial technology startup that harnesses the power of non-traditional data to provide credit scores to millions of unscored Indians, has raised $2 million in Series A funding from Kalaari Capital. The investment will support CreditVidya’s plans to continuously advance their technology platform and launch additional products that help lenders approve more customers, minimize fraud rates and accelerate verification processes of potential customers. Speaking about the investment, Abhishek Agarwal,

Co-founder and CEO of CreditVidya said, “Non-traditional internet and mobile data sources provide a rich source of social, behavioural and transactional data which when combined with advanced analytics is fuelling a new wave of credit risk assessment. Our big data platform leverages over 10,000+ such unique digital data points to assess the creditworthiness of a potential borrower. We work very closely with our lending partners to develop customized scorecards for their product offering so that they can approve more creditworthy customers.

The goal to drive financial inclusion by enabling access to credit through our technology platform is what motivates us!” “Currently, credit bureaus rely heavily on traditional data streams such as details of repayment of loans and credit cards to generate credit scores. India’s demographic profile consists primarily of people without a credit history. CreditVidya’s solutions enable lenders to increase profitability by more accurately assessing the credit risk of these new-to- credit customers. We are thrilled to benefit from Kalaari’s expertise in scaling technology businesses to bring fair and transparent credit to millions of Indians.” added, Rajiv Raj,


Co-founder and Director of the firm. Together, Abhishek and Rajiv bring a wealth of expertise from their backgrounds in credit risk management, data analytics and retail lending. The company’s current clientele includes banks and non-banking financial institutions such as Fullerton India, Bajaj Finserv, IDFC Bank, Tata Capital and Shriram Housing Finance. It has also garnered interest from other verticals such as insurance companies, e-commerce companies and e-wallets.

According to Bala Srinivasa, ?Partner at Kalaari Capital, “Credit scoring is a major bottleneck in India inhibiting social and economic growth. Credit Vidya has built unique technology that enables lenders to assess credit risk of 800M+ Indians not covered by traditional credit scoring. We are excited to partner with CreditVidya in their mission to reimagine credit scoring in India.” CreditVidya has previously received angel funding from Siddharth Parekh from Paragon Partners and Silicon Valley-based angel investor Munish Mehta.

CreditVidya, is a financial technology startup headquartered in Mumbai. Founded in 2013, CreditVidya’s technology platform uses non- traditional data sources to provide credit scores to hundreds of millions of Indian customers. The technology platform helps lenders accurately assess risk of new-to-credit and thin file customers. Lenders benefit from increased approval rates, lower cost of underwriting and more effective product cross- selling and upselling.

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Job Application Letter Is Your Worst Enemy. 20 Ways To Defeat It!

The world of job search is changing and has changed for many.  With the hiring managers trusting the applicant tracking system, what you require is a ‘game changer’ job application letter and resume. Just 6 seconds of attention for each resume and cover letter, your words should impress the recruiter from the very start.

Before you think of writing a job application letter, you have to direct efforts to two important aspects-the applicant tracking system (ATS) and which company/industry.

Let’s start with how to rank high and get into the hands of recruiters from the flood of job applications they get.



Top 5 Tips for Mastering Applicant Tracking System [ATS]

1. No Templates: Most of the ATS cannot read .docx, PDF, RTF, and JPG formats, so use a standard Word document.

2. Use Keywords and Phrases relevant to the work and job role in your descriptive achievements.

3. Keep simple formatting and avoid using headers, footers, borders, symbols or shading.

4. Do use the exact job title on top of your job application letter when applying for a position. Even though you have a personal connection, stick to the ‘exact job title’ in your cover letter.

5. Be careful inserting special characters and accents as these can be misinterpreted by an applicant tracking system


Well, now let’s focus on the company/industry and how to apply the right way.


Before you start writing you application letter, know what the company is looking for and whether you are a right fit to the company culture. Also your experience years decides whether to send a letter with your resume.

If you are a fresh college graduate or an entry-level professional, a well-written cover letter would be of great value.  Hiring managers can assess you written skills, specific job skills and attention to details.

Point to be noted: Candidates with 0-3 years’ experience can knock off competition with a cover letter submitted with the resume.


What about experienced candidates?


Gaining a few years of work experience, recruiters do pay more attention to your resume.  It is better, however, to submit your cover letter with your resume, even if it’s not asked for.  With a cover letter you can explain clearly pointers that may not be included in your resume.

Point to be Noted: If a company clearly mentions to not submit a cover letter and has their own directions, it’s best to follow the guidelines.


How to write a Job Application Letter:


Writing or not writing a cover letter with your resume depends therefore on industry and company. Many candidates also write a boilerplate cover letter which can be added with any job roles and sent to any company.

1. Write your job application letter which talks to the point rather going verbose.

2. Use Business English to write. Keep your creativity for some other time (other than if you belong to a creative field). Letter for creative jobs should be different than a letter to an EPC company.

3. A short cover letter of 3-4 paragraphs including the specific reasons from applicant’s for the job role is what most recruiters do read.

4. Focus on skills and experience in your application.

Point to be Noted: Include elements of business letter in your application, even if you are sending an email.

Save your recruiter’s time-

Your recruiter has few seconds to spare, given the sea of letter received by job hunters every day.

Do’ s

1. Show an interest in the job and company. You words should show familiarity with company’s mission and vision.

2. Your application letter should show you are motivated and eager to work in the company. Write what drives you to be part of the company you applied and how you present role fits into what you want to do.

3. Your qualities and skill-sets which are not part of resume should be described. In the limited time of your recruiter, write additional skills which are not clear from your cv.

4. Your recruiter should tell why you are different. Read bios of professionals in the same industry and similar role. Write something not mentioned by them. Differentiate.

5. You have to understand the type of company you are writing and tweak the writing tone. For example- writing in a formal tone for a gaming or food start-up would be boring.


Dont’s

1. Attach you resume and not your cover letter. Recruiters read the resume and skip the cover letter. Put your application letter in the email body.

2. Leaving the subject line blank. Many job hunters leave the email subject blank or do not write the apt subject description.

3. Do not cover the same job application again and again. Recruiters can tell.

Monday, 25 April 2016

Mark Cuban And Ashton Kutcher Invest Bodysurfing Innovation on Shark Tank

In a one-bedroom apartment in Dana Point, California, Steve and Angela Watts filmed a pitch, hoping to secure placement on ABC’s hit series Shark Tank for their bodysurfing product Slyde Handboards. This was the third time they had applied to the show, and they were desperate to finally attract investors. The Slyde Handboard is a small, lightweight surfboard worn on the hand. According to the inventors, it allows bodysurfers to easily change direction and skim the waves without having to carry around a cumbersome boogie board. In a pool of nearly 50,000 applicants, “Unless you have something that sticks out phenomenally, you really do have to sort of make yourself known. The Shark Tank recruiters told us, ‘Well, come back next year,’ for the second time, so we did and that was when we got our break,” said co-founder Angela Watts.

They were featured, with Ashton Kutcher, on Season 7. It was the first time this season that Kutcher, a celebrity guest shark, had appeared on the show’s investment panel. The couple requested $200,000 for 15% equity, and their brand caught the attention of multiple sharks. Though the couple managed to maintain poker faces during the pitch, they were giddy with excitement. “The best way I can describe it is a bit like bungee jumping for forty-five minutes, or leap standing on the edge of that wave of bungee jumping, because the adrenaline rush you experience is crazy,” said Steve Watts. While Lori Greiner said the brand was cool, she opted out and left the floor open to other sharks. Although he hadn’t made money with a previous similar venture, and was unable to see their products as an add-on project to his existing paddleboard company, Robert Herjavec matched their initial ask of $200,000 for 15% equity. “Mr. Wonderful,” Kevin O’ Leary, complimented the two on investing their wedding savings in the company, but said their numbers were too small.

He originally went out, but changed his mind, offering $200,000 for 15% as well. Kutcher said because he has zero experience getting products to market, he needed another shark. However, he said his online distribution channel could help the marketing operation, utilizing a pipeline that includes direct-to-consumer marketing and targeting demographics on Facebook. Mark Cuban then jumped in with him, offering help in the distribution category and even seeing that it was a potential match for an existing company in which he has equity, Tower Paddle Boards, which came into Shark Tank with $40,000 in sales, and is expected to bring in 8 to 10 million dollars this year. “Their products are night and day. That’s why they can partner. People want authentic products from authentic companies,” said Cuban in an email interview.


Originally, Cuban and Kutcher proposed 25% equity for $200,000. After negotiating several times, the couple accepted an offer of $200,000 for 22% equity stake of the company. “We would have taken the deal at 25%, but you don’t want them to know that, so we had to negotiate a bit. You have to put on a straight face, because it really is somebody basically saying, ‘I believe in you this much, so I am willing to give you $200,000.’ Even if it’s just $10, it shows they believe in you,” said Steve and Angela Watts. The idea for the handboard came from Steve Watts’ lifetime passion of riding waves during the hot South African days in Cape Town during his summer breaks, where he would try out various wave-riding apparatuses. “We could try to find anything we could ride a wave with, from broken surfboards to Frisbees, even our flip-flops, but our favorite was the fast-food tray,” he said in their opening presentation on Shark Tank. With a desire to enhance his bodysurfing experience, he used his background in product design and began working with people who had 25-30 years of experience in the shaping industry in South Africa.

Thus the Slyde Handboard was born. Steve Watts founded the company in 2010 in Venice Beach and worked locally from his garage. After bringing his wife on board in 2013, she quit her job and devoted full time to the company, bringing in more than $356,000 in revenue since the opening of the business. Previous fundraising campaigns include a successful Kickstarter in 2014 for another product, Slide Phish, which raised nearly $22,200. Another $10,000 was invested from what Angela’s mother had saved for the couple’s wedding. “We almost got married in Vegas, and when we got engaged, my mom said she had a present for us, which was $10,000 she had saved.

After paying a deposit and picking our wedding date, we ran out of money for Slyde. We couldn’t afford products. Our credit cards are maxed out. We had borrowed money from Steve’s parents already and his brother, so we were met with our last option. Mom, we need your wedding money,” said Angela. Their gamble paid off. Currently, with products retailing between $169 and $199, they did more sales in 24 hours than any full month after airing on Shark Tank, and since then the couple has moved Slyde Handboards to Orange County to be closer to the heart of the surfing industry.

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Tuesday, 8 March 2016

ixigo launches ‘ixibook’ to Simplify Travel Bookings

ixigo, India’s leading travel search marketplace has announced the launch of “ixibook”, which will allow travellers to make bookings for flights and hotels within its app without being redirected to a third-party app or website. ixigo has collaborated with Cleartrip, a leading online travel agency, and OYO Rooms, India’s largest branded hotel network, as its launch partners for flights and hotels respectively.

On the launch, Aloke Bajpai, ixigo Co-­founder & CEO said - “This is a first of its kind innovation in the Indian travel market, and we have chosen to work with the industry’s best for our initial launch. With ixibook, we will deliver a much smoother customer experience for ixigoers and enhance conversions for our partners by allowing users to book with them natively within our app. We expect to move over 30% of our flight and hotel bookings to ixibook within the next few months, as well as add more partners to ixibook later this year.”















Commenting on the launch, Stuart Crighton, CEO, Cleartrip said - “We’re excited to partner with ixigo on this first-of-its-kind paradigm where an online travel agency and meta-search collaborate closely to create a better user experience, something that we both value immensely.” Ritesh Agarwal, CEO, OYO Rooms added - “ixigo possesses deep insights into traveller-behaviour and a rich content focus. Through this collaboration, their audience will find value in our offerings and we will be able to expand our reach to engage leisure travel enthusiasts.”

Currently available on ixigo’s android app, ixibook allows a user to book a flight or hotel in just one tap. The idea behind the product is not only to enable direct in-app booking but also to save a traveller's time by shortening the conversion funnel. ixibook also stores traveller information, thereby considerably reducing booking time for all subsequent transactions. Post-booking customer support is handled directly by the respective partner. ixibook will also be launching on iOS and web platforms in the coming weeks.

About ixigo

Launched in 2007 in Gurgaon, India by Aloke Bajpai and Rajnish Kumar, ixigo is India’s leading travel search marketplace, connecting over 70 million travellers with content & deals from over 25,000 online & offline travel & hospitality businesses. ixigo aggregates and compares real-time travel information, prices & availability for flights, trains, buses, cabs, hotels, packages & destinations. ixigo’s mission is to simplify the lives of travellers by building apps that make their travel search and planning hassle-free and it has won several awards in its journey, including the TiE-Lumis Entrepreneurial Excellence Award and the NASSCOM Top-10 Emerge Award. ixigo’s investors include SAIF Partners, MakeMyTrip & Micromax.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Joyce Banda asks religious leaders to pray for elections

President Dr. Joyce Banda has asked churches in the country to pray for a peaceful electoral period saying there should not be any bloodshed. 
“It is the duty of any God fearing Malawian to pray for peace in the country and people should not despair for God is the sole provider to every individual,” Banda said.
“As a nation we have to thank God for what he continues to do to this country. We particularly need to pray for the forthcoming elections so the country continues enjoying the peace that we have,” Banda added.
President Banda was speaking on Sunday at St. Peter and Paul Cathedral of the Anglican Diocese of Upper Shire in Mangochi when bidding farewell to Reverend Canon John Chilombe who has been assigned to Luapula Anglican Diocese of Zambia as Missionary.
The function also coincided with the feast of annunciation of the birth of Christ to Mother Mary.
President Banda said people had every reason to thank God for since every day was a bonus. “We should consider every day of our lives as a bonus because most of colleagues passed away a long time ago but God continues to safeguard us.”
On this note, Banda reiterated that there was need to advance cordial relationship between the church and government in order for the country to realize meaningful and sustainable development at all levels.
“I cannot agree more with the previous speakers on the need for the church and government to work closely together in development activities – the two (government and church) should always complement each other,” she emphasised.
She also commended the Anglican Church for implementing various projects in the health and education sectors and pledged to support the church’s Mother’s Union Guild through her market women initiatives and activities with some small grants so that they equally participate in socio – economic activities.
In his remarks, Bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Upper Shire Reverend Brighton Malasa said the Anglican Church was very grateful to government for creating an enabling environment for its development partners to operate in.
“The Anglican Church cherishes the cordial relationship existing between the church and the government in working in complement to each other,” Malasa said. “We (Anglican) are just sustaining what earlier missionaries initiated after noticing that there was great need for improvement in health and education.”
“The Anglican Church has been working hand in hand with government in improving the welfare of people in the area of education as well as in health,” Malasa said.
The prelate observed that it was sad to note that many Malawians were still reeling in poverty as country celebrates 50 years of independence, pointing out that the Anglican Church would work tirelessly to promote the welfare of Malawians.

Commenting on the forthcoming tripartite elections, Malasa asked political parties to practice civilized politics by addressing issues instead of castigating others during campaign rallies to avoid provoking each other degenerating into violence.
“I would to take advantage of this opportunity to appeal to all political parties contesting in May 20 tripartite elections to refrain from violence and practice clean or issue based campaign if we have to make the elections peaceful,” he emphasised.
Malasa, therefore, urged Malawians to respect their leaders because leaders are chosen by God.
In his sermon, Robert Mumbi Bishop of Luapula of Anglican Diocese in Zambia advised Canon Chilombe to strive at working dedicating his life to God like a messenger who listens attentively to the one sending to avoid distorting the message.
“Be it what you may, priest, civil servant or a business man – avoid the fashions and temptations of this world. God sends people in various capacities to serve with a sense of service and zeal to work,” Mumbi said.
Mumbi, therefore, challenged the gathering that the Lord is sending everyone to serve without regard to what they were in society. 
Rev. Cannon John Chilombe born in 1951 was ordained to priesthood in 1993. Before his posting to Zambia served in various establishments of the church including that of dean for St. Peter and Paul Cathedral Church at Mpondasi in Mangochi until his appointment to Foreign Service.
He becomes a third missionary priest from Malawi Anglican Church to work in Zambia after Leonard Kamungu who served in Eastern Zambia Diocese of Anglican between 1910 and 1913 and Bishop Bernard Malango who served in the Northern Diocese of the church in Zambia.

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